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No one gets married expecting to get divorced. So when a couple decides the marriage is over, no matter how amicable they are, it’s emotional and stressful. If they are parents, one of the biggest concerns is often “How is this going to affect my child?”

Try to remember the ‘7 C’s of Resilience

  1. Competence
  2. Confidence
  3. Connection
  4. Character
  5. Contribution
  6. Coping
  7. Control

When we encourage these skills in children’s everyday lives, they’ll be able to handle challenging circumstances especially divorce better.

Along with the ‘7 C’s’, here are some tips on keeping your kids happy after divorce.

 

  • Maintain routine and consistency

 

Keeping constant will give kids a greater sense of control and confidence in their ability to handle the monumental changes brought by divorce.

 

  • Reassure your children it’s not their fault and they are loved

 

Often children will blame themselves for their parents’ break up and wonder if they could have avoided this painful experience if they had somehow been “better.” Be ready to answer tough questions clearly and honestly. The most important thing is to reassure your children they will remain safe and loved.

  • Create shared experiences, even when you’re separated by divorce

Going out of your way to maintain a close relationship sends a very strong message to kids that they are your highest priority, which can increase their own confidence in their ability to adjust to the “new normal.”

 

  • What if your ex is an absent parent?

 

While it may be tempting to express displeasure with your ex around your children, this puts your child in the uncomfortable position of feeling like they need to defend the other parent. Unfortunately, this means they do not feel free to express their own hurt and anger. Although it may be difficult, try to remain neutral. Remaining neutral allows them to express themselves honestly and gives you more opportunities to teach them skills for coping with their own emotions.

For more information about how to keep your kids happy after divorce read the full article. If you’re facing divorce, contact David Veliz at the Veliz Law Firm today.